we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
