Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
