i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
