All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
