Can i not drive my cunt home
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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