I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
