do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
