I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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