Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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