Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
