And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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