My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
