just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
