there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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