As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
