i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
a search helicopter?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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