3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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