I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
