my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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