I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
