What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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