I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
