its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
