smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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