Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
