that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
