You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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