Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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