On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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