So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
