i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
