she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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