Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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