i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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