He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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