if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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