First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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