is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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