The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
