I'm going to rape someone's good day.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
