Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
