I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Randomize
