I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
