i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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