The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
