'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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