I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
