FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
