I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
