4 words: hood of his car
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
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