Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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